Re-romanticizing

In the initial stages of a relationship romance is everywhere. Partners do many little and big things to show each other that they are special. Many small deeds abound to demonstrate to partners that they are constantly being thought of and that their preferences, wishes, and needs are a priority.

As infatuation fades and, hopefully, a more mature love evolves, often the romance fades also. This can signal the beginning of taking each other for granted and assuming that it is not necessary to show love in all those countless little ways. As normal day-to-day challenges present themselves, if the relationship is not equipped to process and express disagreement, anger, and other negative feelings then resentments and unresolved feelings accumulate and block the energy needed for thoughtful and romantic gestures. The absence of these gestures leads, often, to a sense of disconnection and emptiness between partners.

In the beginning of relationship healing, before romantic energy resurfaces naturally, there are some interventions to “jump-start” a feeling of romance back into the relationship. One method is to think back to a time when the relationship was passionate and connected. What were you or your partner doing differently? How can you incorporate those behaviors into the current relationship?

A relationship therapist can help both partners accurately assess what target-specific behaviors would convey the most positive sense of caring and how to deliver these behaviors in the most effective way to restore that connected “ I-am-so-in-love-with-you” feeling on which relationships thrive and prosper.

Read this article, “Making romance: Keeping the flame alive takes effort” written by By Susan Broili : The Herald-Sun, Feb 9, 2005.